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Happiness in your own responsibility.

When I was nine....

Me and my bloody mouth.

Movie hype. (btw I swear when I get swooped up in crazy thought)
Cloverfield. My thoughts....

I haven't seen this movie and I don't know if I want to. The thought of paying to see my beautiful NYC destroyed and a way my life could end via Godzilla just doesn't seem to be a lot of fun.

What's wrong with Harlem, people? Shit, don't run to the monster - run away to White Plains!!!!!

My last day on earth? Two ways I'd deal with it.

If I thought I could survive: I'd go to a car garage (I live on the UES) find a big car that could run over abandoned cars and pedestrians that wouldn't get out of the way (sorry, fuck ya'll!) . I'd be carrying a bottle of water, my cats (I think), a hunting knife and a book on cannibalism (sorry, again, fuck ya'll!!!!) I'd head as far away as I could from that monster. Why the hell do people run around and try to see the aliens and monsters in movies? Darwinism. Those dumb ass people deserve to die.

If I knew I was going to die: Honestly I'd probably have tons of sex with hot people. Some might consider the last day a tragedy, I consider it a day without consequence and totally clothing optional. I'd ride my bike around naked. Hell, I'd ride my bike around naked without the seat... na'mean?!? Ok, I wouldn't do that but still - Why cry and be all whiny your last day? Have fun, roll with it, monster or not we're all dying anyway.

I also think it's stupid you couldn't kill that thing. What was it 250 feet? I know there are rumors it has like special skin and super powers but it has eyes - blind it. It also must have a big mouth. Everything has an Achilles heel, it's like Jaws, more that 15 minutes screen time and I just think everyone is stupid.

I'm still not sold if the Monster was supposed to be a bad guy, considering it attacked lower Manhattan I'm sure the hipster population got weeded down considerably.

(no subject)

I want my office walkway to look like this.

I just got back yesterday from up North and it was very much needed. No computer, cell phone turned off most of the time, not traffic, no email. Do you know how awesome it is not to use the computer for four days? Just to run around barefoot.

Dream backyard is coming!
 With a tipi outside!
And trees to hide in.
Madonna, time to check out!

Children frighten me!!!!!
So I got my hair done yesterday and I'm sitting and waiting, eating some mozz sticks because my blood sugar dropped and I was about to get all moody crazy like "drink the juice!" Julia Roberts in Steel Magnolias.

A little girl on the opposite side of the couch is playing Sims. She's maybe 9 or something, we get to talking, she's talking all about it and the cheats, motherboard and giving me the lowdown. I played Sims once maybe five years ago. I then tell her:

Yeah when I played, I liked to think of people I didn't like and build a room without any doors and set them on fire.

Then I realized, hmmm... I don't think that's appropriate to tell a 9 year old.

She then whips her head around, looks at me and says, Yeah well I like to adopt children, throw them in the pool, take the ladder away and watch them drown!!!

Her eye twitches and dialates while I scooch to the opposite side of the couch trying to slowly pick my jaw up from off the floor.

Hello! I've decided to become an Applephile.
A week and a half ago while working, I basically poured an entire mocha frap bottle from Starbucks ultimately destroying a relatively new laptop. I wasn't so much angry, but shocked at how stupidly it did die. While debating if my detachment was because I was under the weather or still dealing with surgery, I reached my bottle to shake it before consumption. However, I forgot I already removed the lid and like I said, pretty much thew it all over the place.

Meet my new internet love, I call her Turtle after first being introduced to Macintosh when I was a wee child learning all about angles. Who else did this?

Seriously, get a iMac 24-inch. It's like a dream as long as my apartment doesn't fall under the control of a HAL 9000.

I really hope it doesn't whisper suggestively kill...whitey... in my sleep.
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this made me smile.
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